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7 Habits Of Highly Miserable People
Life's hard, there's no doubt about it — but we have a certain level of control over how we react to the things thrown at us.
Whether that be our attitude in the morning, our decisions throughout the day, or the habits we commit ourselves to, we can change our lives for the better. The unfortunate reality is that these things also have negative consequences if we don't tend to them, leading to a miserable and unfulfilling life.
Dan Go, a "high-performance coach to entrepreneurs" on Twitter, shared the seven habits he's noticed in miserable people navigating their lives, in hopes of forcing self-awareness into people who might be struggling.
1. They eat a high-calorie diet that's low in nutritional value.Lacking energy, experiencing mood swings, and feeling agitated can all be symptoms of a nutritionally lacking diet, but it's not always easy to change.
Studies show that many Americans in all weight categories consume "snack foods," but not all of these contribute to a "high-calorie diet" — rather, an individual's economic standing has a greater impact.
Individuals suffering from financial burden are more likely to consume "high calorie" meals purely based on affordability, rather than nutritional value, and it's shown to affect their mental health, along with their physical.
Photo: monticello / Shutterstock
So, if you're struggling mentally and have the ability to change your diet, consider adding food groups like protein and starchy vegetables into each meal. If you're not able, consider changing some of your habits below, or using local food-aid resources to supplement the food groups you're lacking.
2. They don't sleep enough at night.Experts recommend that the average adult gets between seven and nine hours of sleep each night. Anything more or less than that can have a severe impact on physical and mental well-being.
Irritability, depression, and low productivity are a few of the most common consequences of failing to get sufficient sleep each night. While it's often difficult due to our busy lives, prioritizing sleep can be one of the "easier" ways to promote a healthy mood.
3. They don't exercise.You've heard it a million times — you might even be "rotting" in bed right now, rolling your eyes over having to read it again. However, the benefits of exercise are impossible to ignore and you can experience them after just one workout.
Dr. Scott Beyer revealed on TikTok that improved mood, increased energy, and higher attention spans are all benefits of working out, even after just one exercise.
Simply taking your dog for a walk, doing a quick YouTube workout, or stretching on your living room floor can proactively improve your mood and combat anxious and depressive thoughts.
4. They don't spend enough time in nature."Long-term exposure to blue light can disrupt your circadian rhythms and cause feelings of depression and irritability," Go wrote in his post.
Especially if you're working from a desk or office with little sunlight, getting outside for even a few minutes a day can drastically reduce your low-energy mindset.
Being miserable is not always a choice, but it can be directly related to decisions we make in our daily lives, and refusing to go outside is a poor one.
5. They're always complaining or 'playing the victim.'Not only are you sabotaging the relationships in your life by not owning up to your faults, but you're also setting yourself up for failure on many different levels by "playing the victim." People who constantly complain or blame others for their mistakes lack self-confidence, social awareness, and meaningful connections.
While they might not seem interconnected, your misery is likely a result of this habit. You're losing relationships over false accountability and surface-level connection, but pledging to be truthful, honest, and responsible — both to others and yourself — can be the first step into regaining trust and happiness in your life.
Related Stories From YourTango: 6. They lack gratitude and are in constant pursuit of 'more.'True connections are based on trust, love, and genuineness, but people who lack gratitude often use relationships as a way to move forward in life. Whether they disregard their friendships, take their family for granted, or "social climb" through new connections, these people often end up miserable and alone.
While it might be simply subconscious, those constantly looking into the future end up full of regret once there's no more "future" to chase. Live in the present and tell your loved ones you appreciate them because, in the end, connection with others is the pinnacle of our human existence.
7. They're constantly 'picking fights' and 'hating' on others.Being irritable and miserable go hand in hand, and oftentimes, people experiencing these dark emotions take it out on others.
Looking to pull other people into their insidious and dark web, they poke and prod at the more secure people in their lives to get attention.
But bringing down happier, more confident people will not raise you up any higher. Focus on bringing yourself happiness, and the misery will start to slip away.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture and human interest stories.
7 Habits To Live A Healthier Life, Inspired By The World's Longest-lived Communities
Kame Ogito, 89, gathers seaweed at low tide in Motobu, Okinawa, Japan. Seaweed is part of the plant-based, low-calorie diet that makes Okinawans some of the longest-lived people in the world.
David McLain/Dan Buettner
Updated January 1, 2024 at 9:52 AM ET
New year's day is typically the day to resolve to do some things differently. And when it comes to making changes to improve our health, there's lots of research on what changes can lead to healthier living.
While we're always hoping something magical will come along to catapult us to good health – some super-food or new exercise trend – the reality is much more mundane. It's what we eat, how we move, how much we sleep, and how much we manage stress and social connection that can really make a difference.
And at a time when life expectancy in the U.S. Has dipped and diet-related disease is a leading cause of death, it's no wonder that Dan Buettner's decades-long exploration of centenarians who thrive in the longest-lived communities on Earth is attracting lots of attention. In his book and Netflix series The Blue Zones: Secrets for Living Longer, Buettner takes us to five communities across the globe with the highest concentration of centenarians.
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From the mountain villages of Sardinia to the islands of Okinawa, Buettner introduces us to people who garden, cook, sing, laugh and play. Their weathered skin and slow gaits don't stop them from living fully, albeit simply.
"People in blue zones, they're not thinking about their health or a diet or an exercise program. They're not doing anything except living their lives," Buettner says.
They are living longer without intentionally setting out to do so.
For most of us, it's not feasible to switch places with these village dwellers, but we can learn from their simple habits and customs: Here are some ways to swap old habits for new ones, inspired by the blue zones.
Swap 1: Trade the La-Z-Boy for a mat and a garden
People in long-lived communities, which Dan Buettner calls "blue zones," incorporate movement into their daily lives by gardening, working the land and spending time outdoors.
David McLain/Dan Buettner
Build movement into your day. For those of you who don't like the gym, you may be inspired by the way people in the blue zones incorporate movement into their everyday routines. "Plant a garden in your backyard," Buettner says. "A garden nudges you to weed and water and harvest almost every day," and that keeps you moving, he says. Also, instead of lounging on chairs or sofas, emulate the Okinawans' approach to spending more time on the floor, either sitting or squatting.
"I sat for two days with a 104-year-old woman who got up and down off the floor 30 times," he recalls. That equates to 30 squats and helps maintain strength in the legs and core.
"It makes for better balance and flexibility and probably healthier backs and fewer falls," Buettner says. Falls are the leading cause of injury and injury death in people over 65 in the U.S., and these strategies could help prevent one.
Swap 2: Ditch DoorDash and eat like a peasantBuettner describes meeting the oldest family in the world, whose collective age of nine siblings was 860 years (about a 95-year average). Their daily staple was a traditional Sardinian minestrone soup made from leftover garden vegetables, beans, a little barley, some tomatoes and a bit of olive oil. The Sardinians also eat a lot of whole-grain sourdough. "People in the blue zones are eating the cheapest peasant foods," Buettner says.
And while the blue zones he visits are distinct geographically, their diets are similar. The top five pillars of the blue zones' diets are whole grains, vegetables, greens, beans and tubers, such as sweet potatoes.
"A cup of beans a day is associated with an extra four years of life expectancy," Buettner says of his analysis. And people mostly cook their own meals. "There's no DoorDash in the blue zones," Buettner jokes.
The top five pillars of the blue zones' diets are whole grains, vegetables, greens, beans and tubers, such as potatoes.
David McLain/Dan Buettner
People live a slower pace of life and use lots of herbs in their cooking. The Sardinians love rosemary. In Costa Rica's Nicoya region, cilantro is a favorite, and in Ikaria, fennel, oregano and sage are popular. "They know how to make their peasant food taste delicious, and that's the secret," he says.
Swap 3: Reduce meat and aim for a plant-forward approachBuettner reviewed about 150 dietary surveys conducted in the blue zones over the last 80 years. "If you average them, more than 90% of their dietary intake comes from complex carbohydrates — whole plant-based foods," he says. For instance, Okinawans eat a lot of sweet potatoes, which are rich in vitamin A. And in the Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica, carotenoid-rich squash is a staple.
In blue zones, more than 95% of dietary intake is from plant-based foods.
David McLain/Dan Buettner
The typical diet in the U.S. Includes about 220 pounds of meat per year, per person. In the blue zones, it's about 20 pounds a year: "About 1/10th of what we eat," Buettner says. There's just a little bit of cheese and a small amount of fish. In Okinawa, tofu is a staple and is often eaten twice a day, mixed with vegetables and herbs. And a key principle of eating there is to stop when you're 80% full.
One way to be aware of how much you're eating is to turn off the TV, put your devices away and save the dining table as a place to slow down and savor. Mindful eating has been shown to help people moderate their intake.
Swap 4: Give loneliness the boot — become a joinerCosta Rica's Nicoya Peninsula is a blue zone that spans a 30-mile strip made up of pastureland and tropical forests. The climate is warm and sunny. People don't make much money, but the country's health care system is generous and men in the region are about three times more likely to live to 90 compared with men in the United States. As Buettner points out, its isolation from the rest of the world has helped stitch people together. "They rely on each other," Buettner says.
He describes meeting a woman named Panchita who was well over 100 years old. Each day, her 85-year-old son and his children biked to her house to help feed the chickens. In return, she cooked them some beans and some rice. "There's this beautiful symbiosis," he says. Not only do they put family first, but their customs and rituals bind them together. "They tend to be Catholic, so they show up to church. Festivals are a priority," he explains.
There's a similar prioritization of family and community in Loma Linda, Calif., home to a large concentration of members of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. It's one of the original five blue zones and the only one in the United States. (Initiatives aimed at leveraging the blue zone strategies to improve health are underway in communities around the United States.)
Adventists tend to hang out with other Adventists. The church gives them a foundation. "They have potlucks and [take] nature walks," Buettner says. Bottom line, they show up for each other, and they live about seven years longer than the average American.
If organized religion isn't your cup of tea, there are lots of ways to find community based on your interests, whether it's playing pickleball, joining a gardening or hiking club or getting involved in a civic project in your community.
At a family gathering on the Okinawan island of Taketomi, a 90-year-old islander greets a young relative.
David McLain/Dan Buettner
Swap 5: Revamp social media to cultivate friends and a sense of purpose"The best longevity hack is to curate your immediate social circle," Buettner told me. That doesn't mean dumping an old friend who has some unhealthy habits, but "they're probably influencing you in the wrong way," he says. Take a play from the Okinawan playbook, where they join small groups called moais to help support and encourage each other.
You can do this in your social media feed as well. One strategy is to curate your feeds so you're seeing content from people who share your interests and values. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, say goodbye. Find people who "fill your bucket" and inspire you.
Over the years, I've written a lot about research that shows just how contagious our habits are. If you're happy and engaged, positive emotions can spread. If you aim to live a healthier life, your odds improve if those around you are committed too. So, try this blue zone principle of human behavior to help align yourself with people who can serve as a sounding board to help you live with purpose.
Swap 6: In lieu of an afternoon espresso, take a napWhen I gather with friends, the conversation often revolves around the zillion things keeping us busy. Between our work commitments, launching kiddos to college, caring for aging parents and travel, this busyness can be viewed as a status symbol. To push through these busy days, it's common to caffeinate rather than downshift. But this is the antithesis of a blue zone mindset.
The alternative: a cat nap for as little as 20 minutes in the afternoon. It's a habit that Buettner says he has adopted in his own life. In Ikaria, where it gets very hot, people tend to stay up very late, past midnight, often socializing, he says. Since they wake up late, a midafternoon siesta makes sense. "Almost all of them nap," Buettner says.
The siesta is an age-old tradition, of course. And though modern life has pushed it to near extinction, the most recent science shows that a 20-minute nap can make up for an hour of lost sleep and helps keep you sharp later in the day.
Swap 7: Trade big-city rents for an affordable home (and maybe keep your parent nearby)For this swap, a lot of people may need some assistance, but consider how Singapore has helped its residents.
About 80% of people in Singapore own their home, which is an extraordinarily high rate of ownership. This is partly the result of a government policy to subsidize apartments, beginning decades ago.
Singapore is new to the list of blue zones. "Over the last 50 or so years, they've grown life expectancy by almost a quarter of a century, and they've done so by prioritizing people's health and well-being over just business interests," Buettner says. Singapore has adopted policies to promote health such as subsidizing food and prioritizing walkability in the city. "What you have is this very walkable, clean environment where healthier choices are easier," Buettner says. He points to another unique concept: a tax break for people who keep their aging parents close.
So though homeownership is out of reach for many Americans, especially in big cities, here's one strategy to consider: a move to a more affordable town, especially for young adults looking to put down roots.
There's no single change to create a culture of health. Moving the needle requires dozens of small steps and initiatives that can help nudge people toward better choices and make the healthier choice the easiest. Buettner acknowledges that the original blue zones are fading. The isolation of many of these communities has helped preserve the traditional way of life, but urbanization and the global economy are pushing people to more modern lifestyles.
We'd be wise to stop and take note. A body of scientific research validates the blue zone way of life: Good food, good sleep, good friends, plenty of movement and a sense of purpose are a recipe for living better.
This story was edited by Jane Greenhalgh
Copyright 2024 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.Npr.Org.
7 Daily Habits To Reduce Stress And Enhance Your Happiness
Many things in life are out of our control. One thing you can do right now can change the game: Be intentional about focusing on positivity. It sounds small, but it can make a big difference in cultivating your mood and boosting your satisfaction. It can be as easy as making yourself laugh and coordinating plans with people you love.
Nourishing your mental health will help you connect more deeply with others, reduce anxiety and boost your confidence. Small things can do right now will make a difference, and it won't cost a thing. Start with these seven happiness hacks today.
Also, see how to naturally relieve anxiety without medication, and check out these tips for improving your mental health without therapy.
Make relaxation a routineVery few things in life are promised, but stress-free times are unfortunately guaranteed. There will be times when you feel overwhelmed or stressed out, but you can control how you respond to the strain. Implementing relaxation techniques into your daily routine can help you manage stress.
Meditation is a popular way to relax as it can help reach a state of calm, decrease stress and improve your mood. Some people even use music to guide them through their meditation sessions. If meditation isn't your thing, deep breathing, reading or taking a bubble bath are also popular relaxation techniques. No matter how you choose to relax, try to make it a habit.
Practice gratitudeIncluding gratitude in your life is a way to create a positive outlook on your life. More than that, it has tangible benefits for your mental health, including reducing stress, lessening depression symptoms and boosting your mood.
Gratitude is a simple concept, but sometimes can be difficult to keep up with. In 2023, take time for self-reflection and share your gratitude with the people around you. If you like to journal, regularly write down a list of things you're grateful for.
Catherine Delahaye/Getty ImagesValue social interactionSharing our time with others is sometimes just what we need to boost our mood or change our perspective on things. By making time for friends and family, you will decrease feelings of loneliness and ensure you have an emotional support system at your fingertips. If you can't regularly meet in person, text messages and zoom calls are all meaningful ways to connect with others without actually seeing each other.
The other side of valuing social interaction is knowing when you've had enough. Boundaries are an essential part of mental health that helps keep you from pushing yourself too far. Feel empowered to say no or move plans around when your body tells you to.
Take care of your physical healthMental health is directly tied to physical health; one cannot flourish without the other. The three main areas to target for 2023 are sleep, nutrition and exercise.
Let's dig into each target area:
Our phones are our lifelines. Most of the time, they're beside us, keeping us connected to the outside world through calls, texts and social media. The hours spent scrolling through social media, comparing ourselves to the snapshot of perfection people post, can seriously impact our self-view and stain our mental health. Constant social media use has been linked to worsened anxiety and depression symptoms, feelings of inadequacy and unhealthy sleeping habits.
You can use social media in a way that doesn't deplete your mental health. Use these tactics to make social media work for you:
Journaling is a powerful tool to cope with mental health disorders by working through emotions and channeling thoughts. A 2018 study found that journaling for 15 minutes each day significantly reduced stress and feelings of anxiety. Other research has linked it to helping work through PTSD symptoms or depression.
There is no right or wrong way to journal. Many people journal daily, others may only journal when stressed or need to work through something. No matter how you use it, journaling is a way you can track your progress and growth throughout the year.
Westend61/Getty ImagesMake yourself laughSometimes, laughter is the best medicine. When you're feeling stressed or down, do things that will make you laugh to reduce anxiety and stress. Watch your favorite TV show or movie to give your mood a boost. Or find the source within yourself. Sing while you're in the shower or dance while cleaning your home. Dancing reduces the stress hormone cortisol in the body.
Improving your mental health is a journey; it doesn't happen overnight. You can make lasting tweaks to your well-being by intentionally adding habits to your routine.
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